Susie, my daughter, is growing too fast!!! Not only physically, but mentally, emotionally, spiritually, etc. I know that during her growth spurts, she might WILL be defiant, grouchy, whiny, etc. Part of being a mom is knowing how to deal with it. I used to look at other moms and their children and wondered how they made it look like everything was perfect. How do they get their child to listen to them? How can their be so polite when I know they want the cookie in the cookie jar? I truly never thought I would spank my child. Until she does what she does. And honestly? I know that what she does is not worthy of a spanking. But I did it anyway. Until today.

I realized that her irritability, stress, bad behavior, and defiance is BECAUSE I spank her. I lose my “cool” and honestly, God made it clear that it doesn’t make anything better.

Today, I looked my beautiful daughter in the eyes and told her I wasn’t going to spank her anymore. No more mean mommy. I asked if that made her happy and she said: “YES!”

And that made me happy 🙂

I have my daughter back. I have my control back. All because I bought a book. I bought a book called “30 Days To Taming Your Emotions” by Deborah Smith Pegues. I told my family that I would start seeing a counselor for depression/bipolar, but I know that the first thing they will do is prescribe me medicine that won’t heal me. It will only be a band-aid.

With this book, I pray that God shows me other areas in my life where I can learn the GODLY way to deal with things. Because honestly, I have no clue. I know what I was taught and what I was taught is not true to His word.

So just bear with me. I will be reading this everyday. I will not be posting here everyday, but I will be doing it.

I ask for prayer to keep the motivation alive in me.


Ground rules…


I have decided to start a blog. God has shown me many areas in my life that I need to redirect towards Him. I am going to use this blog to not only hold myself accountable, but also, it’s a way to keep track of my progress and all the blessings I have because He is the leader of my life. It will not be easy for me to give up control, but this has been my struggle for my whole life. If He does not have control, I can not expect Him to do His “job” to show me His blessings and love.


I am using this blog to be accountable and will not make unrealistic goals. I am holding myself to posting at least once a week. This counts as the first post. I may not post about the same thing every time, but eventually, I pray this blog will not only be for my benefit, but for others who may not know me, or who may know me well to peek into my life.


If only one person benefits from this (I pray it’s more than just me), then I am blessed.